He hasn't signed yet.....

If I had a dollar for every time my dear husband said he was going to "cut back" or "cut out" or otherwise reduce the consumption of a whole gamut of unhealthy foods, or increase the consumption of healthier foods, I'd be rich. No seriously. So I decided to make him sign a contract.....

Vows to Health

I, _____, do solemnly swear to pay my beautiful beloved wife one dollar every time I say that I am going to eat better and/or am going to “cut out” any unhealthy food out of my diet. I also agree to pay said amazing wife seven dollars for every week where I do not workout at least 2x per week, and when my food intake is less than 80% healthy, and/or includes more than 2 of the items I vowed to “cut out”. All proceeds from this contract will be kept in a secret location, and will only be returned in the event that I obtain a six-pack as verbally agreed upon on the ___ day of ______, 20__. I agree that my wonderful wife will keep all proceeds for a duration of no longer than 6 months, at which time they are non-refundable, and may be spent at the discretion of my thoughtful wife. If at any time a payment is not made, my caring wife will be allowed to confiscate any “man toys” that she deems fit.
I fully understand that my loving wife is doing this in the best interest of her wonderful, but mostly unhealthy husband, because she hopes he sticks around long into our golden years. At no time will I complain or whine about the rules and/or definitions given with said contract. This contract, once signed, never expires, is non-negotiable, and non-transferable. Signing of this contract does not imply that I can pay myself seven dollars per week if the rules are followed, as the reward of a six-pack (and increased health and fitness that comes along with such a physique) is exponentially more than any monetary value can produce.

Important definitions:
Workout: A period of time, no shorter than 30 minutes, of intentional increased activity, including body weight exercises and/or cardio. Walking, mowing the lawn, weeding, hunting, playing paintball, and sex are NOT considered a workout.
Healthy: A healthy diet will not include daily iced kickers, regular soda, cookies, candy, Ritz crackers, pizza, anything fried (including chips), and no fast food.
Six-pack: this shall not, under any circumstances, be associated with strapping beer cans to one’s stomach and/or airbrushing with tanning products.

Signed ___________________________
Date____________

Witness ___________________________
Date____________

**© by Kristen :)
Hubby says he's having his "lawyers" look this over before he signs.